Cosmetic Collector Gifts

Mooseturizer

"You left your makeup bag? At my place? Really? Let me look for it..."

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

"More concealer?"

Too much mascara?

"Fine, but that's the old you talking. The new you would never ask for a refund."

'Did you deduct a pound for makeup?'

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

'It's a new scent...for horsewomen! We call it 'Roadapple'.'

Cosmetics Dept: 'Maybe you've been using paint, when you should be using nails...'

'Darling you are as pretty as ever you were - it just takes you longer to achieve it...'

Styling gel/styling wax/styling mousse

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"When they say it would send him wild I thought they meant with DESIRE!"

Woman applying makeup

"My girlfriend wants to make up. What would you recommend?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Shampoo.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'