Cosmetic Critique Gifts

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

"I haven't had any work done."

'Quick. Find out who her cosmetic surgeon is, so I can avoid him like the plague. '

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Hair spray"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"I'm afraid it's your suit...you're suffering from batnipple."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

Martina Klein

Animal cosmetic testing

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

Romee Strijd caricature

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'