Corporate Survivors Gifts

'As an unpaid intern, Peabody, I think you're the ideal person to explain to the workforce why it is necessary for me to cut their pay in these difficult times for business.'

"We'd like to switch you from working under the radar to living off the grid."

"The only way you will be able to function here is if you think of yourself as having already been fired."

'Yes, it is a stressful job.'

"Redundancies are expected at the sewage plant as you know...I'm sorry Trevor...you are going to have to stay."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

In and Out Tray

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

Between Offices

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

The Buck Never Stops.

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather