Corporate Commentary Collector Gifts

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

The New World Order

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'Great visual support.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Shift our strategy? I didn't know we had any strategy.'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'