Corn Cob Collector T-Shirts

"Charles, you have some corn stuck in your teeth."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Milking the Cow.

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'The nice thing is we can use real carrots as incentives with them.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Red Wine

Mummy?!

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'I'm not riding with her and that jar of creepy crawlers!!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

When lice dream.

Employee of the month...

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Catching butterflies is fun!"

"Well well, Mr. Chamberlain. It seems you've discovered my secret."

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

Free Range Cows.