Cork Collector T-Shirts

'It's not like Dad left you out of the will. It says, I get the contents of the wine cellar...and you get the corks.'

Wine-tasting Tour.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Red Wine

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"I just read it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert on a given subject. Janet, start the clock and bring me a glass."

'It was an excellent year for corks.'

"No thanks Bruce, I tried it once but I didn't like it."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Shall I draw a cork for us?

"I've done it Igor! I've finally found a way to reuse all our wine corks."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Corkscrew

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

'Okay, which is it; the wine you served the Stewarts 6 weeks ago, or the wine you're serving them 6 weeks from now?'

A man polishes a giant wine bottle.

'...and what are these screw tops all about, wine should have a proper cork, and the prices...who do they think they're kidding.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

"This wine is CORKED!"

true love.

'We'll do your hat tomorrow!'

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I caught them all on corks.'

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'This will stop his bad language...'

'Vino News only rates this wine a 2--but the cork got a 10!'

'Notice how Derek's boozing is getting out of hand lately?'

Australian man-of-war.

Two drunks discussing a cork.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'