Collecting Corks T-Shirts

'Vino News only rates this wine a 2--but the cork got a 10!'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Just the one...

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

true love.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Red Wine

Wino Appreciation Group

He started with the q-tips, then moved on to the hard stuff.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Long Corkscrew

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

The Stages of Wine

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."