Collecting Corks Pillows

'Vino News only rates this wine a 2--but the cork got a 10!'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'A cheeky red?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Just the one...

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Red Wine

Long Corkscrew

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

The Stages of Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

He started with the q-tips, then moved on to the hard stuff.

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

Wino Appreciation Group

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."