Corn Cob Collector Gifts

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

true love.

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'The nice thing is we can use real carrots as incentives with them.'

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Mummy?!

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'I'm not riding with her and that jar of creepy crawlers!!'

When lice dream.

Employee of the month...

"Catching butterflies is fun!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"Would you like flies with that order?"

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

Free Range Cows.