Comb Collector Gifts

Afro comb farmer - "That's a fine looking afro comb you're growin there, Jeb."

Combs

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Unusual Offers

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

Utility Chic.

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

Sharp Eyes

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'I'm not riding with her and that jar of creepy crawlers!!'

When lice dream.

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

Ask Sadie

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I had the stitches out last week. I just find that it helps me stay focused."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Would you like flies with that order?"

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

Time Table