Comb Collector Pillows

Afro comb farmer - "That's a fine looking afro comb you're growin there, Jeb."

Combs

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Unusual Offers

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Utility Chic.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

Sharp Eyes

'I'm not riding with her and that jar of creepy crawlers!!'

When lice dream.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"I wonder what this was for."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Would you like flies with that order?"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I had the stitches out last week. I just find that it helps me stay focused."

Time Table

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'How old is this vase?'