Copy Room Staff Gifts

"And this is why I don't like to work late."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Multi-tasking.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"You owe me five bucks."

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I'd like a round table!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.