Copy Room Staff Pillows

"And this is why I don't like to work late."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"You owe me five bucks."

'These are job perks.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Busy office.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I'd like a round table!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'