Cooking Virtuoso T-Shirts

Chef Cellist

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Witch's Brew.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

'Anybody for breakfast?'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

Hacksaw Violin.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Pollsters

"Your mom's a very special person."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'