Kitchen Virtuoso Fan T-Shirts

"Your mom's a very special person."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Baker Romance

Cook and her Maids

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Thank you for the wedding present.

"Wanna do lunch?"

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

Lobster a la Riseholme!

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

Whistling Kettle

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

Russian eggs.

"So much to do... so little time."

"Sorry about the excessive saffron — the Jets fumbled on their own 20."

A seafood restaurants has live fish swimming around its kitchen.

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

'I see there are more 'pins' on the family homepage,'

'Oh, it's lovely, dear! Everything is so conveniently arranged to save you time in the morning!'

'I need a house with more counter space!'

'One piece of toast or two?'