Cooking Disaster Expert Pillows

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'My hero!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'