Control Freaks Gifts

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Remote control pirate bully

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"By labeling it, I control it."

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'Mom is making us clean out our rooms, but she'll get you next.'

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Hand sanitizer

"Not guilty?"

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

TV and cleaner

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Wash your hands

Car wash / Mouth wash

Bedroom Traffic Control

'It's like all I do is pick up after him.'

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

Soap Versus Coronavirus

A politician's dream come true...

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'What a control freak!'

'It's your remote. Hold on to it. Don't let other people push your buttons.' The kind of help men go for.

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

Jet Liner Wipes 'I tell ya, cleanin' the fuselage used to be my least favorite job...'

"Clean up this mess. . . or you're out."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'