Continental Cracker Gifts

'Honey, I fear to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

Little league world series of poker.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'You reek of crackers.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Do you practice everyday or are you always this annoying?'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

C is for Cracker

A parrot business meeting

'I've just found out we make cubicles.'

Polly want a cracker?

Looking for the vaccine

'...My mistake, that was our monthly profit estimate, not our yearly estimate.'

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

"Poor Sadie, this Pesach she finally cracked."

'Tell me more about this strange man...'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

"Only thing he can't crack is why his wife would just up and leave."

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

Mouse Cracker

A cow is for milking not just for Christmas!

Parrot to owner: 'The cracker is fine, but will it satisfy my emotional needs?'

'Loook, lady, my name is Frank, not Polly, and I don't want no stinkin' cracker!'

Club Ritz: Club Crackers