Habitual Cracker Gifts

"He's stopped that annoying knuckle cracking, but now he's smuggling in bubble wrap."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

'You reek of crackers.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Do you practice everyday or are you always this annoying?'

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

C is for Cracker

A parrot business meeting

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

Nutcracker mice

Polly want a cracker?

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

"Poor Sadie, this Pesach she finally cracked."