Contemporary Art Aficionados Gifts

"My kid could have done that with AI."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

The Artist

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Wagging Dog

"You're welcome."

'Projectile painting.'

The Selfie

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Klimt Kiss Phones

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Jackson Pollock Studio

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Cats at private view

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Picasso: The Early Years

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"Feel better, dear?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

The Cremaster Cycle

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"He's an abstract artist."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'