Contemporary Art Fan Gifts

'I think you'll find it's a Mondrian, not a Sudoku.'

"Winter in Central Park just isn't the same without all of last year's Christo crap."

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"- It's some conceptual cave art."

I Voted

Falling for art

"And these are from Warhol's lesser known 'Thanksgiving' series."

"I attribute most of my success to finding a pile of canvases on the train."

At The Imaginary Museum of Fine Art: 'Bare Bulb Hanging' A Deconstructed Mobile.

'I don't know much about art. But I can see this is good!'

'This is not ART.'

'But is it art?'

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"It's a MAGNIFICENT example of the visualisation of NEGATIVITY. The way the artist has captured the concept of 'nothingness' of..."

"It's titled 'Coffee Cup Rings' and the prices is $10,000."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

The Selfie

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"You're welcome."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Pharaoh Cocoon

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Jackson Pollock Studio

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Cats at private view

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'