Contemporary Art Aficionado Gifts

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect you to get it."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"It's from Tracey Emin, for plagarism"

One man, one painting show!

Cats at private view

Artist with spot paintings

"I like this one."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cariactures

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

Distractions Of The Great

"Mr. Right!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Horti-Culture

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Baroque Peacock

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Spring Training

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."