Contemporary Art Connoisseur Gifts

Jackson Pollack

Tracey Emin

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Cats at private view

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"He's an abstract artist."

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

The Death Of Venus

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Truman Capote

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Pyramids exploding.

"It's called 'Sold'."

Charlotte Rampling

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

Petrarch

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

The Red Carpet

The Algonquin Round Table

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

A new meaning in the Roman