Consulting Detective Gifts

"No idea, I haven't a clue!"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Micro and Macro Department,

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Devil in the detail

Mouse with map exiting maze.

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

When pedants take a break.

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"