Conscious Coffee Lovers Gifts

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Burning the midnight oil.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Man's best friends."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Joined at the hipster.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Non-Power Breakfast

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Countervailing Clichés.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'