Connoisseurship Gifts

'And, as you taste the wine, various sensations are recorded and transmitted to your brain for later befuddlement.'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"He's an abstract artist."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"My kid could do that."

"It's called 'Sold'."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

S**t Threw a Goose

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Sculptor's chippings

Moliere

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Who's the artist?"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

Charles Dickens.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Bleak House

Masterpiece?

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

C Day Lewis.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Man reading the title of an all white painting at an art gallery.

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"