Conjoined Twin Ponderer Gifts

"I don't mind the extra head, but does he have to have quite such expensive tastes."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Waiting for Pants

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Sex Education

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

The Good Samaritan.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

A baby marks time on the walls of the uterus.

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Mountains and Molehills

'It's not a great start to his cartooning career...he's got creative block about what to call himself.'

This is a test of their cognitive skills, and that's a test of their patience. Waiting room.

Architect chained to his drawing of parliament

'I do wish you wouldn't use those Polish printers.'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

'Oh, no - that's just the prototype.'

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

'Try not to remove any of my untapped potential.'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Wait for it....

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"