Congregation Joker Gifts

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

'Hi, your IT section sent me to test the network sockets.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'It's her signature dish.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

Grandad and grandson sticking out their tongues.

'Better than fresh - everything is irradiated.'

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

Popular methods for getting the check

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'French onion soup. Hold the soup.'

"Animal sacrifice isn't necessary, son. Just shake out a few dimes."

Donald Trump as a Baby Joker

Joker in jail

Brendan suddenly realizes it was a mistake posting 'Susan, will you marry me?' to the stadium's jumble tron.

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

Happy? Tell Your Face.

"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."