Congregation Prankster Gifts

The minister's a sub, so we're all going to sing the wrong hymn, pass it on …

Beach con-man.

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

My other cello is a Stradivari

Dynamite little combo

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Zappo's Air Guitars.

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

Stag night high jinks.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Clown Inhaling Laughing Gas

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Guarneri Feline Quartet.

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows