Confusion Conquerors Gifts

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Nice hopping. Now what?"

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Climbing the mountain up towards business opportunities.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Frank?"

'I can see you're going to be a bit of a challenge.'

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"Okay, Brian, it’s time to shut down your brain, quiet the anxious thoughts and begin to relax—just let it all go... and take a Valium."

"I ran out of answers before she ran out of questions."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

Joke traffic signs.

University of Adversity.

Angry tennis player.

"I'm just saying, isn't it a bit early to be 'the present moment'?"

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."