Confusion Capturer Gifts

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'I want to capture this moment before toxic chemicals do.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

Later that same day.

"For some unknown reason, this area has always been uninhabited."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

Joke traffic signs.

'Honey, I just ran into the store. Did you need me to pick anything up while I'm here?'

'Ghah. They've moved everything round again.'

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

"Being smart is great! I wish I was smarter! But I would never want to be a smart Alex. That would be annoying."

Not a happy camper.

"I'm just saying, isn't it a bit early to be 'the present moment'?"

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

Face it -- you resent me for the exploring in depth a world that you take for granted.

Exit next left. No, my left.

'I totally baby-proofed the house while you were out!'

"Marilyn Johnson does so like me! She's even got a pet name for me...she calls me a dweeb!"

Jake's Joke Shop. Use Next Door. Use Next Door.

"We can still be friends, right?"

Gas, water, and electricity being brought to a house through hoses.

Selfie Culture

"Hi, Honey, I think I'm home."

Not an Entrance/Not An Exit

The Ocean's Plug