Conversation Capturer Gifts

"Sorry, I'm late. I was at Miss Huerta's house and I couldn't get away!"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

Bar Therapy

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

The Tangents talk it over.

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

'Why so stony-faced?'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."