Weird Conversation Collector Gifts

Listenin' in

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Tunnel of Whale Guts

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

First and last day as census taker...

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

"U R like so ded!"

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Evolution...the modern-brush fox.

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

"Do you have any weird sex kinks?"

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

'I've known you a long time and it's time I told you the truth, I'm not really a person, I'm just a suit full of chickens..'

You insist on having the last word don't you?

Funky Facts: A Baby Koala is called?

'Excuse me, Miss, but I believe that we've met previously.'

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

"My wife doesn't understand you."

'What in hell kind of a men's room is this?'