Confession Commando Gifts

Do I have to tell Laurel that I played video games with Darlene? Yes. In your eyes, playing video games is sacred. You have compromised your relationship with Laurel by playing with another woman. The truth is hard. But it's the only way. What if it was just physical? I never emotionally connected to the console! Weirdo.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Communication Breakdowns

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

True confession

Confession Ratings.

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'Okay! I did it! I robbed all those banks on the north end of town! Guilty as charged! Lock me up!'