Confession Commando Gifts

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

Communication Breakdowns

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Confession Ratings.

True confession

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"