Confession Comedic Explorer Gifts

'Greeting God!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Religious toilets.

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

Lambo

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

Confession Ratings.

True confession

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

Quick Sand and Slow Sand