Comical Explorer Gifts

'If you must know Harriet; I'm heading for the Pacific Rim.'

"No, this isn't Mt. Sinai..."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

The Great Rainbow of China

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

Lambo

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

And now it's time for "Critic's Corner." Today, Gene will criticize the basic structure of the universe.

"Day 1: Back in the carrier."

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"I have to go wee-wee."

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

Open Mic Nacht

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"

"I just don't think our relationship will work out, honey."

'I gave the Captain a thousand bucks to strand us on an uninhabited island with nothing but a musket.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 4.

"I showed Tia Carmen these really funny cartoons I drew...but she didn't laugh."

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

'What a beautiful landscape!'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Joins The Army

Man caught in fishing lines

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"Why do we do this again?"