Confession Comedy Gifts

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

Clergyman and Working Girl

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

'Stick on Souls'

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

'I'm confused. Is this a romance novel or a confession about how much you like boxes and warm places to nap?'

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

'Idiot.'

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

'Forgive me Father for I have skinned.'

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

'I assure you everything you say to me will be held in strictest confidence.'

A woman doesn't realise she's speaking to a parrot in confessional.

Pizza for the priest.

Chef's Confession

"Don't worry, my son. Voting for that party was not a sin, just stupidity."

Man buying an engagement ring and asking for the lady's name not to be engraved too deep.

"I'm going to mail this tax return and then go to confession."

'Could I stop you there and ask you just to confess your own sins?'