Confession Humor Gifts

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

'Stick on Souls'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Clergyman and Working Girl

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

'I'm confused. Is this a romance novel or a confession about how much you like boxes and warm places to nap?'

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

'Forgive me Father for I have skinned.'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

'Idiot.'

'I assure you everything you say to me will be held in strictest confidence.'

Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

A woman doesn't realise she's speaking to a parrot in confessional.

Pizza for the priest.

"I was caught by the VAT man."

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

Chef's Confession

"I'm going to mail this tax return and then go to confession."