Confession Booth Humor Gifts

'What the actress actually said to me was. . .'

True confessions.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Confession Ratings.

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

True confession

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

Deadly Sins Dept. Envy. Lust. Sloth. Pride. Greed. Wrath. Gluttony. At times it seems like it should be, but "oversharing" is not a deadly sin.

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

'Okay! I did it! I robbed all those banks on the north end of town! Guilty as charged! Lock me up!'