Confession Comedian Gifts

"Don't worry, my son. Voting for that party was not a sin, just stupidity."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

'Is this a trick question?'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"Define 'lawfully'."

'I do, but no promises.'

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

"What type of disposition do I think I have? One that happily accepts marriage proposals..."

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

Clergyman and Working Girl

''For what it's worth'? - Are you sure you don't mean 'for better or for worse'?'

Man anchors suspenders to ground as he prepares to jump with girlfriend at lover's leap.