Confession Chamber Comedians Gifts

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'He does.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'Judge Mental.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

Three-way mirror

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'