Confession Chamber Comedians Gifts

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'He does.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'Judge Mental.'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

On second thought, your honor

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Three-way mirror

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"