Confession Booth Humor Pillows

'What the actress actually said to me was. . .'

True confessions.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

True confession

Confession Ratings.

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

Uncomfortably open Mike night.