Conference Commando Gifts

Communication Breakdowns

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

'Pick a business card.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

Wendel maps his trip to the germaphobe society headquarters.

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

Aways read the small print.

Spring Cleaning

Telephone explosion

Man video conferencing - "Shall we all meet up after this?"

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

Sometimes I wonder who is controlling whom.