Communication Commando Gifts

Telephone explosion

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

This Message Has No Content

Inclusive speech

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Couples' therapy

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

WHO checklist

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

Aluminium Henge

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

Antler Buzzers.

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.