Commandos Gifts

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Communication Breakdowns

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

Wendel maps his trip to the germaphobe society headquarters.

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

Referee

Aways read the small print.

Spring Cleaning

Pentagon

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

Telephone explosion

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

General/medals.

"No, she likes me best!"

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

'Well, that's our case.'

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

"Go to accounting and crunch the numbers people."

"We hired Steve after the copier kept breaking down!"

"Fire at will!" (Soldiers have names on helmets, Will looks worried).