Commander Gifts

Infantry.

"No, she likes me best!"

General/medals.

"Fire at will!" (Soldiers have names on helmets, Will looks worried).

'No need to stand to attention, Sergeant!' - Philippa Tattersall, first female Green Beret.

'We haven't been able to locate their strike force, sir, but we did find a lost puppy...'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

Equalizes

'Permission to be excused, sir. My kilt's at the cleaners.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'I never forget the launch code. It's the same as my account number at Blockbuster.'

United States General Pushing the World up a Mountain

Pentagon

'He's a big believer in missile-offense.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'So, Commander - what can you tell us about your secret mission to study Earth's shooting stars?' - 'No comet.'

'We're delaying the operation until we come up with a catchy name.'

Admiral with medals falling off.

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Hero Drone Commander of the Pakistani Army

"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."

"29 Across is classified, too, sir. They're all classified."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Second lifeReal life.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"