Commander Gifts

"No, she likes me best!"

General/medals.

"Fire at will!" (Soldiers have names on helmets, Will looks worried).

'No need to stand to attention, Sergeant!' - Philippa Tattersall, first female Green Beret.

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

Equalizes

'Permission to be excused, sir. My kilt's at the cleaners.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

United States General Pushing the World up a Mountain

Pentagon

'He's a big believer in missile-offense.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'So, Commander - what can you tell us about your secret mission to study Earth's shooting stars?' - 'No comet.'

'We're delaying the operation until we come up with a catchy name.'

Admiral with medals falling off.

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."

"29 Across is classified, too, sir. They're all classified."

Second lifeReal life.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Cool game!"