Car-commander Gifts

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

The First Martian Dog.

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Infantry.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Dog training

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Ramming Speed!"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

Top dogs IN and OUT trays

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

"He's our finest service animal."

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

Dog walker / Cat walker.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Still on your left."

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"