Cockpit Commander Gifts

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

"Don't you dare touch my radio settings."

Coping with a strong-willed child

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Captain steering house through flood.

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Romance on the Yacht

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

Using a speedboat to retrieve ducks seemed like a good idea to Duke at the time.

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Leonard Nimoy

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

A flighttime story

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'Oops, sorry about that,sir.'

'I know it's dark out here - we're traveling faster than the speed of light'

'I always forget whether I'm flying a 747 or playing an organ.'

'You may have too much anchor for this boat,'

Directors Chair and Others.

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

'And remember: this isn't a submarine!'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'