Pit Crew Member Gifts

"Is this a bad time to talk about global warming?"

'Enough deodorant! This isn't what a pit crew does!'

You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres.

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

Race car driver sees Pit crew member holding sign: Stop And Ask For Directions.

"I need to tinkle."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Employee of the Month Parking

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Lifesaver!

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Silent type, eh?'

'I found another pothole.'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

The Nor'easter Bunny.

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"Who wants to go first?"

'I always forget whether I'm flying a 747 or playing an organ.'

Happy New Year

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

First ClassEconomy ClassNo class.

"So how are things back in economy?"

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'