Courier Commander Gifts

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Food deliverer's baby.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Infantry.

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

"Mail's here."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Recalculating!

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"Still on your left."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'Personally I was happier before we branched out into courier services.'

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"